Spiritual Bargaining in the Throes of Heartbreak
Wishing you a Joyful July!
Psychic Newsletter
There is a theory that, on average, we fall in love with three people in our lifetime. We may like a lot of people, but there are the few that mark us, change us, and consume us. When one of these power relationships collapses, heartbroken clients ask, “Why can’t I get over them?” Age, sex, cultural heritage, religion, professions all melt away to irrelevance in the face of love heartbreak. It’s an equal opportunity malady.
“ I dream about them, worry about their welfare, and continue to ADORE them despite how little regard they have expressed towards me. What is WRONG with me!? Am I nuts?”, goes the wail.
Sometimes I’m asked, “Is it because we have a special psychic connection and I’m feeling his feelings towards me too? Is it because I’m not supposed to get over them because we are meant to be together? We’ll reunite in the near future? Are we meeting in the dream world which is keeping me thinking about them all the time?”
In a desperate bid to negotiate a rational explanation, some people will bargain that they must have known this person in another life and divine providence has reunited them for another shot at bliss. This explanation is especially salient if their meeting was synchronistic.
Reincarnation and the Love Connection
Why the divine would consider your need to resolve your past life love issues worthy of such complicated cosmic machinations is… well, inflated to be blunt. But then my notions of divine intervention are probably odd too. My imagination is more inclined to conjure divinities in possession of a Teutonic and irreverent sense of humour.
Deities, Who might observe our embodied love angst with detached and occasionally, affectionate curiosity. Watching our human dramas with childlike, hand-clapping delight, they wonder in amazement those things we consider to be so darn important. That’s if they give us much regard at all. After all, divinities enjoy a whole universe as their playground. Now as a collective, hell-bent on destroying one of their playgrounds, we may ignite a very different and ALARMING response indeed. That wouldn’t surprise me in the least.
The Two Primary Emotions Dominating the Love Connection
Fear and love rage hot in love. The rest are branches and suckers that grow out of this dual, primary trunk. Fear and love are opposite emotions. We cannot, or perhaps it would be better to say should not, feel both simultaneously. Unless sado-masochism floats your boat. But that’s a topic for another chapter.
When we are afraid, we cannot feel love and visa versa. Love melts fear and fear chases love away. That’s why you REALLY don’t want a loved one to fear you. Nor do you want to fear a loved one.
We often mistakenly believe we cannot feel hate and love simultaneously, but we can because they are the flip side of the same emotional coin. You can feel hate flare tremendously at someone you deeply love. Whenever you feel hate, ask who do you love.
When we are having difficulties letting go of that forever-after-dream of the love, we are operating under two illusions. The most salient one, is that you have control over how someone else feels about you. “What can I do to change or fix this? What will bring them back to me?” Nothing makes us desire control more than when we’re broken hearted over a love’s light that’s gone dim. It can be just too painful to accept that that special someone simply fell out of love with us. Or that they never loved us in the first place. They may have been just faking it. Saying all the words. So, we try to make a deal. “If I do this, will they come back to me? If I do that, will they want me like they used to?”
We never seem to have a problem understanding this rather mean-spirited one-sidedness when it comes to us falling out of love. Hasn’t someone held a hot torch for you and left you feeling rather cold, indifferent and maybe even, dare I say? Turned off? Unless you’re ten years old, I find it hard to believe you haven’t. Is there ANYTHING they could have done to light your fire? Is there anything they could have said or changed about themselves that would have spurred you to rush at them naked? No?
The Other Stubborn Illusion
Is that they are in denial over their love for you. Once they grasp how paltry life is without you, they will come crawling back. They aren’t like you that way. You might have been on the same page with just about everything else. But the intimacy part? You were not on the same page with that. There are Snake Oil salespeople who will promise to change all that for a modest or horrendous fee but don’t be fooled. No one has the power to infuse love in a person’s soul, or water into wine. Remember that parable? Only we have that power over ourselves.
Don’t feel abnormal or crazy because you love someone so much you can’t get past it. That is the risk you were willing to take. Be excited about your own bravery and honesty. That is the gift of love. Know that by keeping up the faith and giving of yourself so generously and lovingly, another will spot your light and rush towards its glow with the same abandonment in which you are prepared to meet it.
The Dream of Sharing that Depth of Intimacy
The process that is keeping you stuck in the ruminations, recriminations, pondering, wishing, yearning and yes at those irresistible moments, texting! The desire to connect is powerful in us. It’s one of those hard-wired aspects of our psyche that is linked to survival, reproduction and safety.
The best advice I have is to pray for them. Pray for their happiness, good health and spiritual enlightenment. Send them your love through the spiritual ether. Not by texting. Absolutely NO texting! One day you’ll wake up and realize you have moved on. That really sexy, sweet smiling person you met the other day…is wondrously taking up more and more of your psychic space.
Accepting that sometimes the universe simply gives us a hard, “NO!” is painful and seemingly impossible at times. But all those, “Nos!” are lessons along the path to our spiritual enlightenment. They build character, humility, and wisdom. A preparedness for the next lap in our soul evolution.
Blessings Kathleen
Videoed Readings about Love – Just Click the Text Link or video to View Video
Does My Husband’s Question Mean He Wants to Come Back to Me?
How Do I Get to a Peaceful Place of Self-Acceptance?
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